It’s Super Tuesday and all signs point to a Trump victory.
Surprisingly, this victory has much to do with his Christian-right support. Due to this massive support from evangelical and more conservative Christians, I have decided to create a revised set of The Ten Commandments that will align more closely with Trump’s views and “values”.
The 10 Commandments for Christians supporting Trump
- You shall have no other gods before Me (aside from money, of course)
- You shall not make idols (unless it’s your name made of Gold placed at the top of skyscrapers for all to bow down to.)
- You shall not take the name of the [Donald] … in vain (or he’ll sue you, or at least threaten to sue you. )
- Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy (unless you’re at a Trump casino.)
- Honor your father and your mother (but don’t give them credit for allowing you the opportunity to succeed. Make everyone think you did it on your own.)
- You shall not murder (unless you’re dealing with a terrorist. In that case, you should kill them and murder their family regardless of their family’s innocence. And you should also dip your bullets in pigs blood if the terrorist is Muslim.)
- You shall not commit adultery (just divorce your wife and marry a new, younger version.)
- You shall not steal (unless there’s a tax loophole that you can take advantage of.)
- You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor (unless you hate your neighbor. In that case, you should demand to see their birth certificate or just call them a rapist.)
- You shall not covet (well this one is just silly. What’s life for without wanting more?)
The Pope agrees, Donald Trump is no Christian. And Christian supporters of this hack should be ashamed of themselves. This post is meant to be funny, but even if you take religion out of the equation, a party that prides itself on morals and values but still votes for a greedy business mogul in it for only himself . . . . well that’s not funny at all. And to those Christians going out to support Trump today, can you please just admit that you are no Christian.
Love Nephew (aka – Dennis Marrero)
